Prayer Wall

Below you can submit a prayer request and our team of prayer warriors, and listeners who are passionate about others, will make sure to lift you up in prayer! Every prayer request that is submitted will be seen and prayed for by our team, even if you choose for it not to appear on the prayer wall.

I prayed for this

Prayed for 19 times.

Anonymous

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 w/ Psychotic Features it has affected me spiritually and emotionally and most days I feel lost, hopeless, confused, sad, angry, and defeated. I also have social anxiety disorder because I’ve always struggled with self esteem really bad and never really knew who I was. I started my journey following the Bible around 2014, but even though I learned a lot and was “teaching “ other people I realized I was following after my own idols in my heart. Marriage, success, education, house, cars, all these things to cover up the wounds of my damaged and hurt soul. I was in a relationship with a guy that was very religious and I thought he was a man of God. He messed up my mind really bad because he was very judgemental and sought to bring me down. Anyway, during this I had a mental breakdown with Bipolar . Having highs and lows thinking Jesus was talking to me. Making terrible decision that cost me a lot. Long story short I left that relationship and spiraled out of control. Religious Psychotic episodes confused my mind. Right now I feel like God has allowed my heart to be hardened. Becuse I’m so upset with him like how did I fall so low to where I can’t get up but everyone else can get up? Or maybe he will come to me one day. But right now I believe there is no way for me to reach Christ any longer. I don’t believe I’m chosen to serve him so I feel there is no point in living. Most days I pray but I don’t read the Bible much because I condemn myself and I think I am not chosen by God and he is going to send me to hell no matter what I try to do. Especially because I have cursed at him and been so mad and angry at him for allowing me to fall into sin so deeply and to be in episodes where I thought the devil was attacking me. I think I was brought into this world for destruction. For three months I was in Mania and I ended up marrying a Pastor and now in a relationship that I hate because I don’t know him or have any affection, and can’t help his ministry because of my lack of faith and mental state. I just thought that while in an episode that I was supposed to build churches all over the earth with him - terrible mistake I made while out of my mind. My life has become a complete mess and prior to I thought I was walking with God. Now my faith is little to none and I think God no longer hears me. I fee like I’m living a lie and I’m 22 hours away from home. I wonder how I will live with this Illness in this life as it is terminal and unpredictable. I worry about the damage I have caused this man and his ministry - I have married because I am no good for him And if I leave and go home it will ruin him. Please pray for softening of my heart, management of this mental illness, and direction. I want to know Jesus like many others do. I want to be saved and even if I don’t get healed I want know how to manage and cope with this. Right now I just don’t believe God will do it for me. I just believe I doNt have his Holy Spirit. I see no fruits. All I do is think bad and negative thoughts, selfish thoughts. Please pray for me. I’m now only relying on his saints to intercede for me.

Received: March 26, 2020

Powered by Prayer Engine