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Prayed for 2 times.


Dear prayer warriors,

Our friends need you again. Matt’s biopsy this week did not bring the news that they had hoped for.

Reminder to Pray for Matt (04/19/2024)

There is no easy way to share this, so I will just come out with it: Matt has relapsed.

On Wednesday we went in for a scheduled bone marrow biopsy. While we were waiting Matt mentioned that the bloodwork on Monday had indicated a slight increase in blasts (leukemia cells). I had not looked at his test results that day, which I usually do. I guess it mercifully gave me two more nights of uninterrupted sleep without the periods of emotional sleeplessness that now make up my nights. Wednesday’s results showed double the amount of blasts from Monday. Dr. Maher walked into the office, not as chipper and excited as she usually is and asked us if we saw the bloodwork, she didn’t really need to ask, she just needed to see my face. And then she said that dreaded word, “relapse.”

Matt endured another bone marrow biopsy. This one was a bit more painful than what he usually experiences under Dr. Maher’s capable and experienced hands. Have I said lately how awed I am that my husband goes through such hard things without a complaint? I have to order him to tell me how he really is feeling and extract promises that he will express to me any concerns. He is brave, he is strong, he earns my respect and admiration time and time again. Matt has had every right to be angry and lash out and yet he doesn’t. What right do I have to do the same? We tell each other almost daily: “We will get through this. You/I will get better.This will be over.”

“This will be over.” The finish line feels like it keeps getting moved further out in front. Over rocky terrain. On the other side of a steep and winding mountain. That has a footpath just the width of your foot. Hugging the mountain with a shear drop on the other side. We were marking on our mental calendar that Matt would be able to resume his regularly scheduled life at some point this summer. Now we may be starting from scratch. We knew this could be a bumpy, crazy uphill fight but we wanted it to be a straight line. Leukemia is turning out to be a relentless, formidable foe. We may have lost this battle, but we have not lost the war. I am still holding out hope that the DLI, which is supposed to take 6-8 weeks to start showing progression (we are at 4 weeks), will step up and take charge of his bone marrow. Meanwhile, we will have to wait two weeks to learn the pathology of the leukemia blast cells and what course of treatment will be in order.

So to take a quick snapshot of our homelife, in the last two weeks we had unexpected and unwelcome news of Amelia’s open heart surgery and now this relapse, and we are on the homestretch to Gregor’s graduation. I have been asked many times how I am. I am fine, I am holding it together. Really. I am also waiting for the day when I can rent a remote cabin somewhere so I can just have my nervous breakdown in peace and quiet. I have earned that.

Specific Prayer requests:

-The relapse is momentary. That the donor cells attack without mercy.

-Matt stays healthy and strong.

-Amelia’s upcoming surgery this summer is textbook and without complications.

-Gregor enjoys the last few weeks of high school

-I stay well, if Mom goes down this ship is sunk. No, not really, but I don't want to encounter any more complications.

Please keep praying.

Received: April 19, 2024

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